We’ve all heard it said: it takes a village to raise a child. This is true, and not true. I believe it can be done with much less than a village, but if you’ve got a village, why not take advantage of that?
This is something I’ve been slowly understanding and appreciating over the past year or so of pregnancy and motherhood. I’ve always been the type of person to do things all on my own, not wanting to need any help from anyone. Support is great – I love a good cheering section – but something in me always wants to be able to be self-sufficient.
I’ve had to learn to swallow my pride and realize that other people offer help not because they don’t think I can do something, but because they’re on my team and they want me to succeed.
Just because I am physically capable of something does not mean I have to be the one to do it. Or that I have to do it by myself.
Can I carry all the groceries and the baby into the house and put the groceries away while keeping an eye on her? Yes.
Is it easier on me and her if my husband helps? Yes!
Can I rock her and rock her for hours on end in the night when she’s teething and having trouble sleeping? Yes.
Do I maintain some sanity and get more sleep if I tag team with my husband? Yes!
Can I do all the house work every week? Yes.
Does it save me time that I can use on other tasks, or me time, if my mom washes the dishes sometimes? Yes!
Please, take this advice. I am saying this to you, reader, but also as a reminder to myself. Help from family, friends, neighbors, and kind strangers can save you time, energy, stress, and sanity. Open yourself up to their generosity. They wouldn’t offer if they didn’t genuinely want to help you.
If someone offers to carry something for you, say yes, thank you. If someone holds a door, say thank you.
No more “It’s ok, I’ve got it.” I’m the queen of that one. Let’s make life easier on ourselves!
And if someone offers a generic “Let me know if you need help with anything”, hold them to it. Give them a task. Some people want to help but don’t know what to do or give. Figure out something they can do for you, and ask them for help.
Or, if you are feeling underwater and like you just need an extra hand sometimes, just ask someone. Reach out to your team mates, your village, for assistance. People will help you.
Accept help that’s offered, and don’t be afraid to ask either.
Open yourself up to generosity, say yes, and say thank you.
Lisa is a wife and mom of a baby girl. She enjoys trying out new forms of exercise and fitness, but her favorites are pole dance fitness, aerial silks, and yoga. She also volunteers some of her spare time to a local cat rescue. Since discovering her sexy strength a couple years ago, she is the happiest she has been her whole life, and is happy to share it with you. Got a question for Lisa? Write to firstname.lastname@example.org