Personal Lubricants: Why, What, and Where?

I speak with women all the time about sexual health, and get some interesting responses to the question “Do you use a lubricant?”

wet flower“Oh, no, I am already wet.”
“I don’t need that. I am too wet down there.”
“I get wet, that’s not the problem.”
“He may think I am not into him.”
“He says we don’t need it.”
“How and where do you use it?”
“When do I put it on?”
“We have oral pleasure so we can’t use it.”
“I am way too sensitive, so I can’t use it.”

These and other responses never get old to me. I am amazed how many concerns we as women have, and yet never ask or get the information we need on the topic of lubricant. I always wonder if these women have ever asked or spoke with their doctor about these questions or concerns.

So when I started asking that question, “Are you asking your Doctor about lubricants or sexual health?” most of the time, the answer was “No.”

These are women who go to their physician and/or OB/GYN at least once a year for an annual check-up, and in every single pelvic or vaginal exam they received, there was lubricant involved.

tissue box

So helpful. Not.

At the end of your vaginal exam, your doctor even tries to send you home with it, still on you! Think about it: the nurse or doctor hands you 1 one-ply tissue for clean-up, like that is enough. They use plenty of lubricant, so much it feels like you’re swimming down there! There is so much of it that you need to use the nice paper blanket you wore for your exam to dry off.

(Smile. We have all been there at least once.)

My point is: If your OB/GYN uses lubricant all the time and for every little thing, why don’t we?

Why is it so important to have lubricant?

Lubricants have many great features and benefits to them. There are many different types of lubricants used for everyday and playful use!

Uses for everyday lubricants included, but are not limited to: vaginal dryness (due to several things, such as medication, hormonal changes, hysterectomy, or birth of baby), insertion of tampons and condoms, or vaginal discomfort during sexual penetration with a partner or bedroom accessory. These lubricants are generally water-based, silicone, glycerin-based, or some type of mix.

Silicone lubricants are fun for water play and anal play. If you have ever tried to have any type of penetration in water, you know it is like two balloons rubbing up against each other. Not pleasurable.

So silicone lubricants are great because they are waterproof! They do not wash away or dry out like water-based lubricants. They are also good for anal play, since we do not produce our own natural lubricant back there.

If you’re using latex condoms or other barrier-method contraceptives, look for water-based lubricants, since other types can react with the condom material and make it less effective. Lubricants are usually clearly labeled with their base ingredient.

Playful lubricants are used for all-over body massages, body desserts, oral favors, and hand massages. They can also have some type of warming or tingling sensations to them. They are generally vaginal friendly and come in a variety of flavors. These lubricants are mostly oil based and have a thicker feel to them or are event emollient to the skin.

Another word of caution: Flavored lubricants often have glucose (sugar) in them, and sugar + vaginas can sometimes = yeast infections. If you are prone to infections, these might not be your best bet.

To avoid vaginal tissue tearing and vaginal irritation, lubricant is a perfect fix! Lubricant also promotes moisture in the vaginal tissue and helps with achieving orgasms, if that is what you are going for. When things can glide and slide easily, things feel better and can be more enjoyable.

Since the average woman needs plenty of foreplay for the body to be prepared for any sexual activity, lubricants can be used as a form of foreplay. Lubricant can be applied to all areas on the body/genitals and items that will be used for play.

massageMen are visual, so let your male partner apply the lubricant lovingly over your body, and BAM!!!! We got some foreplay and some of your job is done!

Or surprise your lover with a great flavored lubricant you put in 3 special spots and tell them they have to find all 3 before anything else starts!

Lubricant can be very helpful and erotic depending on what you do with it, as well as making sex more comfortable for all involved.

Kendra Smiley is a native of Cincinnati, Ohio and a single mother of 3 daughters. Since the age of 20, she has always been in some field that has empowered women: managing a big chain lingerie store, becoming a licensed cosmetologist, personal consulting for a direct sales company in relationship enhancement products, presentations on intimacy and sexuality at local colleges and cancer support communities, to now becoming a fitness instructor helping women get Strong and Sexy! Check out her website to help spice up your love life. Got a question for Kendra? Write to writers@strongisoursexy.com.

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